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From February 1997 Publication
It has been about a year since my dad, Max, passed away after a bout with cancer. This has given me some time to reflect upon it and focus on what I learned from this experience. My dad was a very proud man and extremely independent. In his final 3 months, he was confined to a bed, dependent, and helpless.
My dad had always been active & healthy and we were all shocked when he was diagnosed with cancer a year before. He started chemotherapy treatments immediately at the urging of his doctor and the hospital specialists. Even though this was not my treatment of choice, I supported his decision. I suggested ways for him to build up his body that would help offset the effects of the chemotherapy and cancer. Some of these suggestions included eating organic grains, vegetables, natural foods, eating less meat, taking certain vitamins, minerals, herbs, etc. I also encouraged him to try things such as Yoga, visualization, hands-on-healing and other holistic methods. At the time, my suggestions fell on deaf ears. This was extremely hard on me since I was actively involved in the holistic healing field for over 5 years and knew the possible benefits of my suggestions.
After 7 months of chemotherapy, with bad side effects and no benefit, my dad quit the treatment. At the urging of several family members, he started using some alternative medicine treatments. Unfortunately, less than 2 months later, his condition deteriorated almost overnight. He went from being active to using a cane, walker, wheelchair, and finally confined to bed (all in a couple of weeks). He was not able to continue the treatment since it required substantial travel.
During his last few months, I visited him about twice a week and got to know another side of him. He turned out to be a lot more spiritual than I realized and we had some real deep discussions during my visits. He also told me that he wished he had paid attention to my earlier suggestions since they now made sense to him. He also said if he had it to do all over again, he would've skipped the chemotherapy treatments. He felt it deteriorated the quality of his life without improving the quantity of his life.
Ironically, at the same time, several television reports came out questioning the overall effectiveness of chemotherapy treatments. The reports seemed to imply that many medical decisions were based more on financial considerations and less on the actual effectiveness of the treatments. Several doctors (interviewed) quoted a very low overall effective rate. They did point out a few instances where chemotherapy treatment was very effective but were critical of its widespread and almost universal use. They were convinced that most people live just as long with or without treatment and that the treatment may actually adversely affect their quality of life.
The report also pointed out possible conflicts of interest in the cancer industry. Several Board of Directors' seats of the major cancer associations are occupied by officers of pharmaceutical companies (that manufacture chemotherapy drugs), hospitals, and other "interested" parties.
On April 20, 1996, my dad passed away at the age of 77. I miss him very much but know that he'll always be with me as I travel my life path. This article is dedicated to him.
From June 1997 Publication
As I am writing this, two bills are moving through the New Jersey State Legislature that may limit your choices to alternative health care. These are A2826 / S1967, The Nutritionist Licensing Act and S1866, Massage, Bodywork and Somatic Therapist Licensing Act. Both involve setting up new boards within the State government to oversee qualifications and licensing.
The Nutritionist Licensing Act is very similar to a bill called the Nutritionist Certification Act that I wrote about in the October 1994 Mystic Gateway newsletter (our first). The older bill passed both houses of the State Legislature but was vetoed by the Governor. The problem with this bill and its predecessor is that it wants to lump nutritionists and dieticians together. These two professions have different educational requirements and focus. Historically, an adversarial relationship has existed between these professions for many years. The older bill was supported by the dietician lobby, and was written to benefit the dieticians at the expense of the nutritionists. It was nothing more than a turf war that would have been ultimately detrimental to the public. I suspect this is probably also true with the current bill. Similar bills in other States have been used to harass and censor well known nutritionists.
The Massage, Bodywork and Somatic Therapist Licensing Act is another unneeded law. Once again, it will lump several professions together that have different training and focus. Most of these professions already have national associations and certification guidelines in place. For instance, this act will include anyone who does any type of body work. Here is an actual quote from the bill, S1866:
"Massage, bodywork and somatic therapies means systems of activity of structured touch which include, but are not limited to, holding, applying pressure, positioning and mobilizing soft tissue of the body by manual technique and use of visual, kinesthetic, auditory and palpating skills to assess the body for purposes of applying therapeutic massage, bodywork or somatic principles. Such application may include, but is not limited to, the use of therapies such as heliotherapy or hydrotherapy, the use of moist hot and cold external applications, external application of herbal or topical preparations not classified as prescription drugs, analysis of posture, movement and neural myofacial education, and education in self-care and stress management. Massage, bodywork and somatic therapy practices are designed to effect the energetic system of the body for the purpose of promoting and maintaining the health and well-being of the client."
The wording of this bill gives it very broad reach which can include Reflexology, Polarity Therapy, Therapeutic Touch, Reiki and other healing techniques. These modes of healing are, at the best, distant cousins to massage and do not belong under the same regulatory board.
There are other potential problems with these bills. New state boards will be created to determine qualifications and administer licensing procedures. This means new fees (taxes) will be levied, and the State will have more control of our health freedom. Boards tend to create monopolies and their rules often become even more restrictive in the following years.
One of the most effective ways to stop these bills is to call the Governor's office at (609) 292-6000 and tell the Governor that you oppose the above mentioned bills. It was a large public outcry that helped convince the Governor to veto the earlier Nutritionist Certification Act. You must act quickly since these bills will be sent to the Governor shortly. Copies of the bills can be obtained by calling (800) 792-8630. If you want to preserve your health freedom, speak up now before it is too late.
From October 1997 Publication
As the millenium approaches, changes are occurring at a rapid pace. Old paradigms are falling out of favor and new paradigms are being born. Unfortunately, some of the old paradigms are refusing to go quietly since they involve money -- lots of it.
If you haven't guessed what I am talking about, here's a hint -- medical model. Our current medical system has been around for about 80 years. It has some major successes to its credit and some major failures. Recently, doctors have been taken off the pedestal where people had put them years ago. Patients are beginning to question the diagnosis, treatment and the ability of modern medicine to cure all of their ailments. In the past two decades (including this one) there has been an astronomical growth in the use of alternative therapies. These include alternative medicine practices, nutrition (including vitamins, herbs, etc.), stress reduction, exercise, lifestyle changes, and more.
This growth in alternative therapies scares the modern medicine world. They see this as a threat to their profits. People taking responsibility for their own health has to scare the daylights out of an institution built on controlling all aspects of health care. I am not slamming individual doctors and health care providers; I have met many capable and caring individuals over the years. The real culprits are the medical associations (monopolies), government regulatory agencies, pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies, and health care providers that work hard to restrict your choices.
These institutions (special interests) are fighting back on many fronts. They are active on the local, State, and National levels. They are responsible for harassment and persecution of alternative practitioners and lobbying to make natural supplements either hard to get or illegal. State medical boards, from all over the country, have meetings to discuss ways of dealing with alternative practitioners and protecting their turf. The FDA continues to look for ways to restrict the access of natural supplements to the public and protect the pharmaceutical interests. Recently, these special interest groups have brought their fight to the World level. They are using the CODEX Commission, from the G.A.A.T. trade treaty, to force their will on the health conscious consumers all over the world. Under the guise of creating a level playing field for world trade, they are in the process of setting maximum potency standards for vitamins and supplements. The goal is to have most vitamins, supplements, and herbs available only by prescription -- thus raising the prices and the pharmaceutical companies receiving windfall profits. They want all countries to harmonize their standards to the Codex Commission standards. There are built in economic penalties and sanctions for countries that don't "toe the line". A closer look also reveals a threat to the sovereignty of nations since they will not be able to control what goes on within their borders.
Fortunately, health freedom activists all over the world are letting people know about this threat to health freedom. They are busy pressuring their respective governments to oppose any rulings that will restrict their health freedom. This is still a grass roots movement and needs your support to make their voice heard over the blaring sound of the money flowing out of pockets of special interests. To find out how you can help, contact the International Advocates for Health Freedom, 2411 Monroe St.#2 Hollywood, FL 33020, or call (800) 333-2553. They are also accessible by email on the Internet at john@iahf.com. Their web page has a wealth of information and can be reached at http://www.iahf.com/l. It is important to get involved now since it is much harder to regain something that you have lost; prevention is the best way to ensure your health freedom.
From February 1998 publication
When the word "healing" is used, most of the populace has a vision of healing a physical wound, such as a broken bone, cut, scrape, operation, etc. More astute persons may also relate it to the healing of emotional and/or mental "wounds". Very few individuals are able to bring this concept to the next higher level -- healing at the spiritual level.
At the spiritual level, we determine who we really are, our purpose, and our connection to the higher power in this vast universe. Self-esteem and ego are some of the connecting points to the lower levels. Awareness is one of the key components of healing at all the other levels; it is even more important at the spiritual level since here, the information is the subtlest. If we fail to pay close attention to the subtle messages, we may miss important information. Quiet time, inner reflection, and/or meditation are some ways to ensure that you are able to tap into the vast spiritual databank.
If you are untrue to yourself, this is a spiritual issue that needs to be resolved. Some examples of this are:
Spiritual issues are very subtle and, when ignored, move down to the lower levels (mental, emotional, physical) until they (the symptoms) are "noticed". Even when one is aware of the symptom, it takes a certain amount of awareness to link it to the real issue. The symptom may manifest as a physical pain, emotional upset, and/or a mental disorder.
In this society, the tendency is to find someone/something to treat the symptom without also going inside (yourself) to search for the real cause. What you get with the former action is a Band-Aid fix; a temporary fix unless the healing process continues until completion. With a spiritual issue, you will probably get many "reminders", but you will miss out on true healing if all you are doing is addressing the messages. Sometimes you need to do several things at once. Going inside yourself is of paramount importance. In addition, it may be helpful to look at the big picture. Does there seem to be a relationship between various events? How long have you been aware that things seem out of balance? The combination of accessing your inner knowing and the external clues may help you find and deal with your spiritual issue.
There are some very useful practices and techniques that may be helpful in dealing with spiritual issues. The use of prayer, meditation, visualization, energy balancing techniques and other healing modes might help facilitate healing at the spiritual level. Make it a point to create some quiet time, you'll be surprised at how much you really hear.
From June 1998 Publication
Head lice are something you don't hear about everyday. It has a public stigma that relates to uncleanliness and questionable grooming practices. I guess I bought into this stigma until the school nurse alerted me that my daughter had a mild case of head lice. She told me that she had been observing my daughter since she frequently plays with some classmates who had head lice and was hoping it didn't spread to her. I know these children and their families, so I realized that cleanliness was not the issue here.
The school nurse gave me some information regarding head lice and treatments. I read the information and was dismayed to see that the recommended treatments used special shampoos containing insecticides. I also learned that the prescription drug treatments still contains Lindane, a dangerous chemical responsible for seizures and deaths, which was removed from over-the-counter treatments years ago. Not satisfied with these prospects, I logged on the Internet to find non-toxic alternatives.
I finally found a non-toxic product that was only sold in a couple of natural food stores in the area - the closest store was about a 45-minute drive. In addition, I found that the shampoo treatment is only one part of the treatment protocol. The shampoo will only take care of the head lice. The lice lay small eggs that are actually glued to the hair and scalp. These eggs (also called nits) will become lice, lay eggs and continue the process unless they are removed from the head.
Proper treatment requires killing the lice (with the shampoo) and using a special comb that is fine enough to remove the nits. This process can be painful for the child due to the lengthy process and the fact that the nits are fastened with a glue-like substance. I purchased a comb that was specially designed by the National Pediculosis Association and found it more effective and less painful than combs packaged with the special shampoos or available at pharmacies. Using the non-toxic shampoo and the special nit comb, my daughter has been totally free of head lice for several weeks.
Head lice are actually parasites that eat human blood by attaching to the scalp. Lice infestations are growing at an epidemic rate among children probably due to their growing resistance to common pesticides. Lice are unable to fly or jump. They spread between children by either crawling between their heads or from shared hats, clothing, brushes, or furniture. If you or your children are infested, quick action is needed since the adult female louse can deposit 6 to 10 nits a day and the nits hatch in about a week. The nits become adults and the process continues with more infestation. Through this all, I now know where the expression, "nit picking" originated.
From February 1995 publication
It's amazing how many times I've questioned my decision to live my life in a more holistic and spiritual manner. I sometimes feel almost overwhelmed by negative thoughts and hurt feelings which make me uncomfortable with myself. This usually occurs prior to making a breakthrough in a particular area of my life. Eventually I resolve these feelings and move on until the next time I find myself being dragged down by my perceptions and thoughts about events and issues in my life. As a result, I start to question the spiritual path I've chosen to follow. Yet I know deep down inside, I could not and would not want to return to being the person I was several years ago.
When I start to doubt, I get signs from the Universe, telling me to continue along this path. For example, my husband, Jan, and I both have private practices in Foot Reflexology. After doing many private sessions, I still wondered whether I should continue to promote my private practice in Reflexology. Then one day while Jan and I were doing mini-Reflexology sessions at a health fair, the verbal feedback we got was very touching and inspiring. The magnitude of the appreciation people had for this non-invasive technique surprised me. I knew this praise was a message from the Universe to continue with my work and supply this technique to people who desire it. It's ironic that I was not enthusiastic about attending this fair, yet the experience served me so well.
Through Reflexology, my clients release stress and become very relaxed. In fact, some clients have even fallen asleep during the session. By giving them my best, I receive rewards in return. I believe doing what you love is the best way to go.
From June 1995 publication
Do you know any salons or spas that offer Foot Reflexology as a service? Many shops offer massages, shiatsu, or foot rub downs along with a pedicure. Even though many massage therapists incorporate a little Reflexology in their sessions, Foot Reflexology can also stand on its own "two feet". Presently, few places offer Reflexology as an available service. One possible reason is it has always maintained a low profile; therefore people are unaware of its existence.
So you ask, what is Foot Reflexology? This technique (which is similar to acupuncture and acupressure) applies pressure to the feet which stimulates reflex points that correlate to organs and glands within the body. It produces a state of deep relaxation, reduces stress, brings a person physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually into a more balanced place, and releases toxins from the body.
In fact, recently ABC TV News did a two day segment on Foot Reflexology and its beneficial factors. It was wonderful to see this technique being publicized by the news media. As a result, we thought it would be a novel idea to reach out to the general public, and educate them about the advantages of Reflexology. Jan has been busy lecturing on the topic and giving free demonstrations. I am currently approaching Spas and Salons in the Central New Jersey area about offering Reflexology sessions at their place of business. This would provide Reflexology to a greater number of people.
So the time has come for Reflexology to step into the light and make its presence known. Unlike massage, Reflexology simply requires a person to remove their shoes and socks. In addition, if you are unable to exercise due to a health condition and need to find ways of reducing tension and stress, Reflexology is a perfect choice. It helps bring your body into a more relaxed and balanced state, pampers your feet and quiets the mind. Remember, your feet support your body frame all day long, and spend hours in shoes that may be too small, tight or uncomfortable. So give your feet a reward! Have a Reflexology session.
Our sessions are centered on becoming attuned to our clients' needs; staying within each individual's comfort zone, and providing a safe, comfortable and nurturing environment. Many have found this time to be peaceful and relaxing; an oasis away from their hectic and busy lives. The feedback we receive is very rewarding and inspiring to us. As a result, I am searching for a place where I may further expand the public's knowledge of Reflexology. In the meantime, if you are interested in a private session, Jan and I may be reached at 908-846-1889 between 10:00 AM and 6:00 PM daily. Happy walking.
From October 1995 publication
If life hands you a lemon, would you make it into lemonade? Do you see a glass of water half empty or half full? How do you handle life's ups and downs? Do you think a broken foot could teach you insightful learning lessons? Well, let me tell you what it has done for me.
Over the past four to five years, my learning lessons have taught me to be more independent, self confident and less judgmental. So I felt as though this broken foot brought my life to a crashing halt (however temporary). Initially I was devastated over the whole situation, unable to comprehend why this happened to me. It felt as if I was having a bad dream in slow motion. I became a friend to self pity and viewed my handicap as a major tragedy. I tried looking on the bright side of things, but my dark thoughts got louder and louder camouflaging all my good intent. I became short tempered with my three year old daughter and other family members. I never thought I could take advantage of a defenseless innocent child like my daughter, but I did. You can imagine how disgusted I was with myself. My thoughts were starting to control me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. (Believe me this performance could have easily competed for an academy award.)
As I wallowed in my own upset for two and a half weeks, I desperately searched for the reasons I brought this incident into my life. In my annoyed state, answers were unable to filter through to my consciousness. However, once I released the situation and started enjoying my family and the time off from work, interesting things started to happen. I was dearly touched by the many friends and acquaintances who unexpectedly came by to visit and help in my healing process. I fully realized and acknowledged the wonderful relationship I have with my husband as well as the peaceful and loving family environment we've created together. I also developed an appreciation for all the little miracles in life, and felt truly blessed.
As I became more relaxed, my resistance to change diminished and gradually was replaced by an inner peace and trust. I started using my intuition and inner guidance to make decisions and help me respond to everyday circumstances. When I accept and follow my inner voice, it leads me peacefully into the next phase of my life. There are times I still look toward others for answers, but this happens less frequently.
Once I overcame fear and committed myself to move forward, I started manifesting some of my dreams. For me, the road to inner enlightenment is very challenging, yet the final outcome usually leaves my mouth with a sweet taste of lemonade.
From February 1996 publication
It is early morning. Everything seems peaceful and quiet as you snuggle in bed, surrounded in a blissful state of sleep. Then your alarm clock goes off in the quiet bedroom. It is time to start a new day. Do you wake up with zest and appreciation for life, or do you mumble thoughts like: It can't be time to get up yet, I'm still tired! I need more sleep! I don't want to move my body!? Most of the time we go through life unaware of what we are thinking. Have you ever taken the time to listen to your internal dialogue? You may be surprised how it controls your every reaction and response.
Many people take their internal thought patterns for granted, since it is an automatic body function like our heartbeat. However, one needs to realize our mind is constantly occupied with internal dialogue from the moment our day begins until it ends. Every thought has a specific effect upon us.
As you read this article, become aware of your inner dialogue. You may be astounded by the multitude of thoughts that flow through your mind. Experts like Louise Hay and Deepak Chopra believe we think many of the same thoughts every day. This is due to our belief systems that were influenced by close family members, friends and the media during our childhood years.
Observing how my own child interacts with family and friends, demonstrates how quickly children learn and repeat other peoples' behavior and thought patterns. Exposure to positive or negative thought patterns shape and mold a vulnerable child. This creates stringent boundaries and limitations or endless possibilities, which may stay with them for a lifetime.
Learned thought patterns may also be the main contributor to our swiftly changing moods. One moment we may be happy the next moment sad or upset due to our constantly flowing internal dialogue. The mind is great at playing games with us by dwelling on life experiences or incidences, which originally made little impression upon us. Yet within the confines of our mind, the interpretation of the situation starts to become distorted and may eventually lead to emotional upset or a twisting of the truth.
For example, several years ago I decided to learn how to drive a standard shift car. From the moment I sat behind the steering wheel, fear invaded my body. I was unable to comprehend how one could coordinate several body movements at the same time and also focus on the road. The thought of having a car accident was my biggest fear. Several thoughts later had me believing I was incapable of learning such a complicated skill. As a result, I stopped my lessons for several years. Then one day my determination got the better of my fears, and I resumed my lessons. I am now a proficient driver of a standard car, because I allowed myself to move beyond my limiting beliefs and into a place of higher consciousness.
It is amazing the games we allow our mind to play on us. In order for positive change to occur, we need to become aware of our thought patterns. When we eliminate the negative thought, we eliminate the pattern.
From June 1996 publication
As I travel through life's many pathways, I have been touched and affected by many different people. Learning to respect each person's unique background and belief system has become a necessary part of my life. Each relationship or encounter has made me more aware of the common issues we tend to share with each other. Perhaps this common link exists simply because everyone shares the same time and space on this planet.
This phenomenon has gradually become more obvious as people started sharing their personal and extraordinary experiences with the general public. For example, have you or someone you know ever been introduced to a person you felt you've met prior to this meeting? How about explaining a mother's intuition about her child being in danger? What about a person who makes successful business decisions by following their gut feelings? Some people might say these experiences are just coincidences. Yet, if these incidences happen frequently to a person, is it a special talent they developed over time or a sixth sense?
Hundreds of years ago people seemed to be more in touch with their gut feelings and consciously provided an environment in which they could pass these skills to their children. Over time and many generations later, the advancement of modern technology has brought forth new ideas and concepts which have slowly replaced many traditional belief systems and instinctual skills. As these old fashioned concepts gradually deteriorated, less and less historical information was passed on to succeeding generations. Even though the saying goes: What one doesn't know won't hurt them, let's hope this information will always remain accessible to those who search for it.
Quiet time allows people to reflect, and access information ordinarily buried deep inside them. Today's hustle and bustle lifestyle leaves little room for relaxation and quiet time. In fact, the thought of spending time away from today's noisy world can make some people so uncomfortable, they may deliberately fill their days with endless activities. This fast paced lifestyle will have a direct influence on the children of the future. It may support and develop certain aspects of their personality, while leaving other traits and talents deeply hidden. Hopefully with time and curiosity, they will eventually unearth and explore these areas buried years ago. Who knows what treasures may be discovered.
I feel everyone is born with a sixth sense. The level of development depends on many factors within each person's environment. If a child is taught to be open to limitless possibilities and lives in a loving, positive and supportive environment, their perceptional talents may expand beyond the five senses. Once a child is able to quietly listen to and live by their gut feelings, a new and limitless wealth of information may soon be at their fingertips. They may easily unearth latent talents and skills they never knew they had.
As a child I was innately quiet and introverted. These personality traits, compounded with a family background based solely on tangible facts, made me unaware I might have perceptional talents beyond my five senses. Yet, I consider myself truly blessed to have experienced the road I traveled during my childhood years, since it had a direct impact on my life as an adult. After all, if I had traveled a different path or made different choices throughout my lifetime, who is to say I would be writing this article today.
In my spare time, I have been focusing my energies towards gently unearthing any unique perceptional talents within me. As I gradually eliminate old patterns and inhibitions, I welcome in a more joyful spontaneous lifestyle. If I stumble along the way, I know I can always turn to my family for moral support. With time and patience, I may eventually obtain enlightened information I can share with family and friends. I pray my journey makes this road smoother to travel for those who follow after me.
From October 1996 Publication
Several months ago, my husband Jan and I had made plans to get away from our busy schedule by attending a weekend conference on relationships. We waited patiently for this getaway weekend, and made special arrangements for our daughter to visit her grandparents. I hoped time and distance away from my beloved daughter as well as getting reacquainted with my husband would bring us all a mutual renewal of appreciation for each other. Yet the road one travels to obtain healing and personal growth can be very turbulent and unpredictable.
A while ago a dear friend of ours mentioned that people may start their healing process days or even weeks prior to an upcoming workshop, retreat or lecture they are attending. My own personal experience proved to me the wisdom of her words. It all began several weeks prior to our departure. An unaddressed childhood issue, centered around relationships, began to surface from deep inside me. I vaguely acknowledged its existence and assumed it would go away leaving a gentle yet subtle shift in my inner growth. Therefore, it completely surprised me when this core issue rapidly consumed all of my senses and overpowered my mind with panic stricken thoughts. Through my turmoil, I desperately attempted to find a solution that would quickly heal my inner conflict. Yet every attempt led me further away from my intended goal. It became apparent this issue would be around a while due to the many layers that needed to be addressed.
I left for the conference feeling very vulnerable and unwilling to share my inner turmoil with anyone except my husband. As a result, I decided to bury this matter deep inside me until after the conference was over. I used a lot of energy trying to clear my mind and participate in all the weekend activities. However, all my efforts were in vain due to the splendid talents displayed by the facilitators. They quickly emanated and maintained throughout the entire weekend a safe environment filled with love and acceptance. "I was doomed!" Under these circumstances, it was virtually impossible to hide my inner turmoil. The self defense mechanisms I installed quickly dissolved into thin air, leaving my inner conflict exposed and vulnerable to all the healing elements. It didn't take long before I developed a sore throat and headache. Since I wanted to experience every moment of this weekend, I refused to acknowledge my physical symptoms until my arrival home, whereby, I found myself nursing a nasty head cold.
As my body healed, I slowly began to discard outdated thought patterns, which no longer served me, for more appropriate and healthier responses. I spent less energy and time unsuccessfully attempting to force my life to flow in the direction I desired. Gradually, I relaxed the reins used to control my life so that I might be guided to wherever Mother Nature felt I needed to be. As a result, I found myself being less judgmental of others and more appreciative of things that usually went unnoticed. I worried less about future events and began to live in the moment. All of this has led me to realize my need in accepting and learning to forgive my imperfections, since it has become a major aspect of my inner healing.
Time has helped me process several layers of this challenging issue. Yet, the gamut of swiftly changing emotions and moods are always directly affecting my family members. Through it all, they always seem to remain tolerant and loving, eventually reaping the rewards obtained from my inner enlightenment. Sharing it with them is my way of saying thank you for being tolerant of my venture along this journey.
From February 1997 Publication
There usually comes a time in everyone's life when there is a need to reflect upon the roads already traveled, review where they are now and wonder where they are heading. Recently, I found myself reflecting on my past experiences, how it has formed my present life and curious how it will shape my future. As I dwelled on this matter, my eyes wandered to a little calendar book on my desk. A lady by the name of Helen Lesman compiled this calendar so that each day of the year usually contained a special prayer and a proverb.
Most of the time my curiosity has always led me to read the proverb of the day. Yet on one particular morning my eyes rested upon that day's prayer, which stated, "Dear Lord, help me to remember all the blessings you have given me. Help me to remember them every time I feel envious or jealous of anyone I think has more than I. Amen." It is funny how these words stood out at me refusing to be ignored. It never ceases to amaze me how I became conscious of this prayer which usually would have gone unnoticed.
This is very significant to me since I have always been very satisfied with my position in life, and often thankful for all that I have been given. Yet in the last few months, I started to stray from these feelings, and started to encompass other desires which currently eluded my hemisphere of existence. My awareness of those desirable yet unreachable qualities began to engulf me with feelings of dissatisfaction that eventually started to control my thought patterns and behavior. The more I craved what I could not have, the more unsatisfied I became with my current situation. My home life no longer completely fulfilled me. I was feeling trapped and unhappy, no longer conscious of the wonderful gifts life has bestowed upon me. In fact, life started to look greener in other peoples' backyard, while my yard seemed full of unremovable weeds and blotchy spots that would not grow grass.
Still, being aware of these facts did not bring about an immediate healing or release of this issue. I became more distracted and agitated with each passing day, and allowed my negative thoughts to guide me along a path of complete unhappiness. I thought for sure a higher power was depriving me of those things I decided were now important to me.
At times, I even lost interest in my family, since they seemed to be the chains that were holding me from reaching out to obtain the things I felt would make me happy again. My senses were awakening to very disturbing emotions which I feared would eventually overflow onto my family. In the end, my family were recipients of several emotional outbursts from me. Yet the love that emanated from them never wavered. Through thick and thin, they were there for the duration of this trying time. It would be nice to think others are just as fortunate to receive meaningful messages from caring friends and family or even from a writer like Helen Lesman. It may be the catalyst that will guide you to a place of better understanding.
Moving through my inner turmoil has helped me become more accepting of several issues which have concerned me for some time. Throughout my healing crisis, I have found it helps to surround myself with as many positive sayings as is possible. One of my favorites is written by Ida Scott Taylor, which I would like to share with you and hope these precious words help those in need of hearing them: "One day at a time--this is enough, Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; And do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." May the wisdom of these words guide you into a place of better understanding and contentment.
From June 1997 Publication
Encountering new challenges and unusual situations is a common aspect of everyday life. How people choose to react or respond to them may be governed by their mental memories associated with similar past experiences. I often thought an awareness of ones' behavior patterns may help a person move through a situation with greater ease. However, I sometimes find it difficult to utilize my past experiences as a catalyst to my learning lessons.
Several months ago, I set out to accomplish several goals I felt were needed in my life. I spent lots of energy attempting to manifest objectives that remained just out of reach due to my tendency to avoid change. In the back of my mind, I acknowledged my main challenge was dealing with the uncomfortable feelings of the unknown and how these changes were going to affect me. It was obvious, new achievements would bring major adjustments in my life with no guarantee my transition would be smooth and effortless. I also needed to consciously acknowledge, accept and deal with these changes in a healthy way. As a result, I decided to alter my outlook about this matter by committing myself fully to my own personal healing and growth. I stopped scattering my energies in many different directions and focused my efforts in one particular direction.
I decided to write my goal on paper with a list of qualifications that would enhance it. The completion of this task established the strong commitment I aimed to achieve. Once I took an active role in manifesting my goal, it was amazing how quickly events occurred that brought me one step closer toward a major change in my life. It felt like a tidal wave pushing me towards a pre-determined destination. All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place so perfectly that in a very short span of time I had achieved my goal. Since there was no obvious explanation concerning these swiftly occurring events, I eventually accepted it as Divine Intervention.
This accomplishment has brought major changes in my life; making me confront many new lessons and challenges. Some have been wonderful while others have been scary and painful. Like most people, acknowledging unpleasant information about myself tends to make me uncomfortable. However, I have always found the journey through these trying times worth the effort. My greatest attribute is having a family who knows me for who I am, accepts my changing behavior throughout my periods of growth, and still encourages me to continue along this path. It is hoped that, sharing my challenges and successes with you will help us create a sense of camaraderie as we move through our inner growth together.
From October 1997 publication
From the moment a baby is born, he or she will come in contact with an endless amount of people over the course of a lifetime. It becomes a natural occurrence to interact with others inside and outside the home environment. With each encounter, we are provided with new situations in which to practice and utilize our social skills.
Daily practice of these skills can help us to achieve a certain level of rapport with most people. It will also leave us with a wide range of impressions and memories concerning specific people and places we have encountered along the way. The ones that have affected us the greatest tend to come easily to mind. For example, I experienced some major changes in my life several years ago when an unexpected person appeared in my life. I had met him through mutual friends, and assumed he would be an insignificant ship that was briefly traveling through my life without even creating a ripple. Therefore, it came as a surprise when he finally got in touch with me.
I think we both felt that our first date was a complete disaster, which was all my doing. I had decided before hand that we would have an unpleasant time together, and then unconsciously made sure my prediction became reality. After that uncomfortable experience, I was amazed he asked me out again. However, he had chosen an activity that was pleasant and non-threatening. His ingenuity helped me to relax and enjoy the time we spent together. By the end of the day, I realized I needed to reevaluate and readjust my original negative thoughts concerning his character.
As we started to spend more time together, our friendship grew and developed. He turned out to be a kind and fun loving person who had the patience of a saint. Gradually, he discovered deeper parts of my personality, while I encountered new insights into his. Eventually, he weakened my resistance and I ended up marrying the guy. This union has changed the direction of our lives and provided us with an endless amount of learning lessons. Through the years, Jan and I have experienced our fair share of life's ups and downs. As we worked our way through the hard times, we ended up growing as a couple and as individual people.
Some people spend their whole lifetime searching for a special relationship, whether it is a good friend or a loving significant other. Once a special bond develops between two individuals, it will continue to grow as long as it is nurtured and treated with respect. Unfortunately, we tend to get wrapped up in our everyday routines and sometimes forget how precious those relationships are to us. As a result, I decided to make a conscious effort to appreciate the many different aspects of my relationship with my husband. He may have altered my life in many different ways, but he has also brought with it much happiness.
At times we lack the ability to see how certain relationships will eventually influence and change our lives. I certainly must have been wearing blinders the day Jan entered mine, because I now consider our relationship to be a rare gift that has been blessed by the Universe. I am enjoying my life with Jan and am thankful he has chosen to share his life with me.
From February 1998 publication
Have you ever worried about something to the point where it consumed your every waking thought, and later found out all of your worry and concern was a waste of time and energy? Does this type of behavior sound familiar to any of you, or are you completely free of worry? Recently, I was brave enough to admit to myself that I possessed this behavior pattern. As I started to look back through the years, it became very apparent that I learned to worry over all sorts of things until I developed an inner manifestation of tension and stress. It never seemed to matter whether it was a current situation or an event scheduled in the near future, I would always begin worrying about it days, weeks or sometimes even months ahead of time. After I survived the journey through a particular situation, there was always another one just down the road waiting to take its place.
Since I was a natural worrier, I was often caught in a never-ending cycle of tension and stress, which would eventually lead me towards some kind of physical ailment. It has just been in the last year or so that I learned my constant worrying had become a very unhealthy habit to my body. I started to consciously notice the tremendous amounts of energy I exerted whenever I would get upset about something completely out of my control. I found my stomach would get into knots and my perception of everyday circumstances would start to become exaggerated or distorted. My imagination would also start to work overtime, and I found myself believing all sorts of crazy concepts and ideas my mind was telling me. By the time the whole issue came into perspective, I usually found I had wasted a tremendous amount of emotional and physical energy in an unhealthy way.
At times I would get myself so worked up that I felt I had physically put myself through the ringer. Sometimes the intensity of my emotional and physical upset would tear down my body's immune system to the point where I would end up getting sick or develop severe headaches. The length and intensity of this neurotic behavior would ultimately be the determining factor in the severity of my physical ailments. However, since this behavior pattern has been a part of my life for many years, it has taken me some time before I was willing to consciously acknowledge this old behavior pattern of mine. Once I accepted these facts about myself, I knew I needed to change my behavior patterns to help assist my body towards a healthier existence instead of a destructive one.
Attempting to implement a different behavior pattern into my daily routine has given greater meaning to the saying; "Old habits die hard". It was very challenging for me to change my old behavior patterns. It took time, patience and many learning lessons before I was finally able to incorporate the new behavior patterns into my daily life. Through it all, I have learned to live life one day at a time. By focusing on the moment, I have obtained a greater appreciation for everything around me, and found I spend less time pondering future events and things that may never happen. Now I have a greater appreciation of my life and view it in a healthier fashion. So the next time life gives me a kick in the butt, maybe I will be a better listener and quickly learn the wise things it has to teach me. But for now, it is safe to say, I have learned to enjoy my life TODAY for yesterday is over and tomorrow has not arrived yet. Maybe if you try this technique, you would start to develop a peaceful place within yourself similar to the one I've created within me.
From June 1998 Publication
Spring is a wonderful time of the year. I always enjoy watching nature come to life again after its long siesta. The brilliant colors and clean fresh smell in the air makes me feel privileged to experience the wonders of nature in its purest form. As I watched the season blossom into shape, everyday brought another subtle change until nature had fully developed and transformed our surrounding environment into a new personality.
All this wonderful growth has made me realize how I have changed over the years. At the same time, I am also aware of certain personality traits, which never seem to respond or change to my inner growth/healing. For example, in the last 8 months I have spent a great portion of my energy attempting to change an old behavior pattern, which has been a part of my personality ever since childhood. With each passing day, I became more obsessed with the whole issue and allowed it to occupy my thoughts for longer periods of time. As I delved deeper into this matter, I began rehashing things over in my mind, hoping for inspiration and a major healing breakthrough. However, the longer I stagnated in this thought process, the more unclear and distorted the facts became. I started to dwell on daily events so long that my final assumptions and interpretations about them eventually left me emotionally upset. Before long, my obsessive behavior developed into a daily pattern which slowly drained my body of its physical and emotional energy. My spirit had reached such a deep level of unhappiness and dissatisfaction that I was no longer capable of enjoying and appreciating the wonderful gifts that already existed in my life.
Over the course of time, my body started to accumulate and retain a lot of unhealthy tension and stress, which was draining my energy on a daily basis. Eventually, I had reached a point where I was beginning to feel choked by my own craziness. Once I acknowledged I was no longer able to tolerate living within an uptight stressed out body, I was able to admit how unhappy, serious and tired I had become over the past several months. Admitting these facts to myself had allowed me to become aware of how my obsessive behavior patterns were harming my mind, body and spirit. That was when I finally decided to release all my concerns over to a higher power.
This release was just one of many that has guided me towards an inner healing of my body, mind and spirit. Once I stopped trying to control the direction of my inner healing and started to develop a healthier outlook, it eventually dawned on me that I was attempting to change a behavior pattern that has always been a part of my natural makeup. Being able to accept this aspect of my personality, especially after all the energy I used trying to change it, is going to be very challenging but well worth the effort. This knowledge has already allowed me to release the heavy energy I have been carrying inside me for so long. I have also learned that my inner healing does not necessarily mean changing areas of my personality but accepting them and acknowledging their positive attributes.
As you can see, the road I was traveling has been long and rocky, but I eventually made it to the happier side of life, and I intend on spending a lot of time there. After all, I deserve it.
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